sapphomets:

starblastrz:

sapphomets:

coke of cola is a health potion. pepsi is a mana potion

what’s graped soda

it’s fucking purple baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(via arvyarv)

theslowesthnery:

sometimes the stupidest things make me laugh

(via sleepysharq)

deerhoofandrabbitsfoot:

brainstatic:

I don’t care what the Founding Fathers would have wanted, I don’t care if Jesus was a hippie or not, I don’t care what Marx prescribed. I can’t take living in a world where we’re all servants of long-dead men. You know what happens if you make a law the Founding Fathers wouldn’t like? Nothing, they’re dead and they’re never coming back. I’m genuinely envious of countries that can just make whatever laws they want without worrying about how 18th century agrarian noblemen would have seen it. Stop arguing that Jesus loved the poor too, what he loved or didn’t love is irrelevant, he doesn’t get a say in any of this. We could have a country that isn’t shackled to these ghosts if we collectively wanted to.

This is gorgeous.

(via pokelems)

allsadnshit:

when you’re a kid and you’re feeling weird and detached and you fall asleep in the late afternoon with school clothes still on and you wake up and its dark and dinner is almost done and time feels like a thick jelly 

(via pokelems)

tchaikovskaya:

tchaikovskaya:

tchaikovskaya:

u ever eat something just cuz its carbs? like it doesnt even taste that good, ur stomach just Wants it?

my intestines talking to my brain: spare glucose? spare easily metabolized energy source, ma’am?

my brain to my stomach and tastebuds: eat an entire sleeve of ritz crackers. plain. just do it. it will be so good. so fuckin good. the whole sleeve, now.

(via flanneldragon)

renousim:

(via flanneldragon)

nambroth:

raptorsandpoultry:

thefluffybutthut:

pazdispenser:

look, if a species of colourful bird suddenly materialized that was friendly like a dog, could be cared for easily, was domestic, lived for around 10 years, not endangered at all, and readily available you bet your ass i’d have one

oh wait

Don’t get an exotic bird when you can get a chicken

Chickens make just as fun and comforting companions as parrots, if not more - and I currently care for both <3

I’ve had companion parrots my whole life, and chickens HANDS DOWN make a better pet if you can accommodate their needs. If you don’t know chickens as pets, you might be amazed by how incredibly friendly, personable, silly, smart, and affectionate they can be.

chickens are the best

(via pollo-v)

transminik:

jandkattrashbag:

(via duskdragonxiii)

melondegeneres:

sandersstudies:

Tumblr owners be like “oh, nothing crazy! We just wanna make a few changes, maybe include some premium options, you know. :)”

We rioted when the background color changed from blue to blue, Mr. Tumblrman.

(via duskdragonxiii)

manywinged:

manywinged:

manywinged:

look i don’t know how reliable a source of information this website is but the idea that you can easily get rid of vampires in your home just by telling them they’re not welcome anymore is extremely funny to me

if a vampire came into my house and tried to drain my blood. well i would simply say no thank you.

unless the vampire is hot of course, in which case feel free to make yourself at home

(via duskdragonxiii)